Amidst the reportage of chaos and bloodshed in Ukraine this week, the CBC published an investigation into the business of life coaching. It will be rightfully overshadowed by world news; however, I do want to take a minute to address it.
It was tough to tell people I wanted to become a dating coach when I quit my planning policy career. In contrast to planning, one of the most regulated industries, coaching, is entirely unregulated. Anyone can hang a sign outside their door and call themselves a coach.
In fact, that’s what I did.
I was afraid of the coaching industry’s reputation, and I doubted that certification would make me a better coach. Considering my lived dating experiences, background in community engagement – which included conflict resolution training and curriculum building – and the fact that many friends turned to me for dating advice, I knew I had the heart and the experience to enrich people’s dating lives. Over the past year and a half, that’s all proven to be true.
The CBC’s article tells a cautionary tale of greed and unethical practice, warning readers of unregulated coaches who take advantage of their clients. The article calls for regulation (which may never happen) and stresses that the onus falls on the consumer. However, readers are not given many suggestions on what to look for in an honest coach - other than do you feel listened to, is the coach present when talking to you and whether or not they have a sales agenda.
The low barrier to entry means that, sadly, the coaching industry will attract some greedy, unethical people.
But there are many genuinely wonderful and effective coaches out there. Here are some ways to tell the two apart:
Do they have a money-back guarantee? When I started, I committed to giving all my clients a 100% money-back guarantee, no questions asked. This reassures clients that I only want to be paid for a service that genuinely helps them.
Don’t rely on written testimonials – ask to speak to past clients!
Ask about scenarios they’ve encountered with past clients that might be similar to yours. Ask them for a step-by-step process on how they might outline a month’s worth of coaching sessions catered to your needs.
Look at their body of work. Their blog, social media posts, any free material they offer should give you a sense of how they think and view the world. Are you aligned?
Don’t be satisfied with certificates and degrees. They don’t neatly predict coaching ability. Ask how they’ve gained experience. What were some challenges early on in their coaching careers, and how did they work through those challenges?
One of the most significant assets a coach can have is being resourceful. For instance, would they be happy to refer you to another professional if they, for example, come to realize they’re not best suited to help you? Do they mention this upfront? Who do they lean on when they need support?
Coaches are all over the place. You can hire someone to help with executive skills, finances, charisma, your dating profile –you name it, there’s a market for it. Coaches have a responsibility to be upfront with their clients. The truth is, if you’re in the market for getting a coach, your life should (generally) be going well. Coaches are not for people who are in crisis. Your coach should harness your existing strengths to improve your future. They are not qualified to deal with past traumas. To do that, they’d need to be a trained therapist.
A coach will not make you wiser; they won’t give you more courage or unearth any truths you need to uncover. None of that will ever come from me or any other coach. A good coach will know that these qualities are already within you.
We’re not in the business of fixing people; none of my clients are broken.
Your coach should provide clarity and help you trust what’s already there. Even during the first sales call with a coach, the conversation should stem from a place of abundance and independence, not scarcity and reliance. Use your initial calls to explore where you want to go, and examine if your coach can pinpoint what’s contributing to what’s getting in your way.
A good coach will support you in getting more of what you want in life, but we’re not the missing piece and should never be marketed as such.
I'm going to use this post to address any concerns on my coaching page!! Thank you for this post, super helpful.